Eikoku Tantei Mysteria // Akechi Kenichirou and Kobayashi Seiji

I finally did it. I finished another char ahaha. Let’s just say, playing someone as boring as Akechi Kenichirou after someone as moe as Jack is probably one of the worst otome game decisions I’ve made lmao. So in advance I’m gonna warn people who love kuudere chars like myself, don’t touch Jack until the end www.

Also I think I’ll probably be super biased in judging Akechi cuz the guide I used failed me and I ended up pursuing the ends in the wrong frikin order. Akechi’s route alloww for a good and sad end, as well as a sorta half assed end for Emily to ‘pursue’ Kobayashi Seiji. I’m using that term pretty lightly because it was rather disappointing the way that ended and there was no real romance. Because I accidentally pursued Kobayashi first when aiming for Akechi bad end, my image of all the chars fell to shambles. This would be a combination of my own disappointment +  their character in Kobayashi’s route, and well, once a char falls down my list, they seldom get back up.

Akechi and Kobayashi are both transfer students to Harlington from the land of Nippon to England and the easiest way to describe them would be ‘a Japanese Holmes and Watson’. Akechi is a tsundere katana wielding budding detective with a lot of pride on his honesty/beliefs. Kobayashi is his younger genki sling shot wielding helper who’s more often than not, more rational than Akechi.

I’ve also realised I’ve been writing all the char’s names wrong lmfao, Jap -> English is srs business. I’ll be using their names correctly nao, or if I can be bothered, editing their names in previous posts.

Akechi’s overall route and Kobayashi’s chapter was pretty boring imo. This is because it followed the common route organisation, where they introduce a case and somehow Emily etc. has to go solve it. Albeit the actual case being a rather huge one, I can’t say that I was impressed because by the point I got to it, I really despised Akechi (which you’ll know why once you read my spoilers on Kobayashi’s route).

Spoilers wtf lol man if you don’t wanna 100% don’t even bother

The first chapter of Akechi/Kobayashi route has Emily reading about some kidnapping case, where ppl are holding aristocrats ransom and basically stealing lots of money, so it’s a detective’s job to catch them! Emily comes across some cripple and helps him up and she asks him what he’s doing, he tells her that her employees sent him. She’s like “Oh Pendleton??”, he’s like “yes”. Let me tell you this was a pretty obvious case of ‘he’s gonna fking scam u emily’ and he does just that, and Emily falls right for it. Omfg (༎ຶ ◡༎ຶ). This was the one time I really felt that Emily was stupid.

Akechi barges in and is like, NOPE, THIS CARRIAGE WAS SENT FOR ME. And so he ends up being taken, right, in, front, of, Emily’s, face. GDI. In the end, Kobayashi tells her that they were pursuing the kidnapping case and Akechi probably planned on taking them down by himself. =_=” They chase the kidnappers and find Akechi outnumbered, as one would be, so Kobayashi goes into his slingshot bullet pouch…and pulls out some magical mustard bullet and owns everyone, good 4 u man, good 4 u. The head honcho of the operation is like, pls dun tek mi 2 jail, i give you any amount of the ransom money i got, and pisses Emily off with his lack of a back bone. So she slaps the shit out of him lmfao. _(≖ω≖」∠)_

The next chapters are rly stupid but add to the story I guess…….. Rick, some kid that Akechi saved from bullies ends up begging Akechi to take him as a student. Cept with the history between Akechi and HIS teacher, he dun wanna + the bullies are now targeting the fk outta him cuz racist. They even get Akechi arrested once for some stupid robbery, but Emily flexes her Whitely power and gets him released, u go gurl. Rick tails Akechi during a case and Akechi tells him IF U WAN BE MY STUDENT, U SHOW ME UR KAKUGO (note: kakugo means readiness), and is harsh in general to the kid. Rick runs off and Kobayashi flips out on Akechi telling him he’s a fking douche and chases after Rick. Turns out Rick was trying to show his resolution by telling the bullies from earlier to back the fk off Akechi’s perfectly rounded ass. He’s like horribly outnumbered so Akechi is like, okei i lose, and steps in to save the shota again. He owns the bullies without even his katana and when they’re lying on the ground, he’s like OKAY TIME FOR FIRST AID! and starts tending to them. Apparently he has some rule that he must tend to everyone that he hurts with his hands and the bullies catch a scent of his manliness and suddenly want a piece of his ass to kiss. (☞三☞´༎ຶ ◡༎ຶ`)☞ wtf was the pt pls.

One day Emily asks Akechi about his homeland the glorious Nippon and Akechi spends the next half of the chapter detailing the awesome scenery and culture that exists there, including the concept of moe, Akiba and dakimakura. Emily is like wow, I wanna be an otaku too, I wanna see Nippon sometime! And Akechi is like BITCH U CANT HANDLE THE MOE THAT IS AKB48 and tells Emily to stop wanting to go Japan. Kobayashi is like wtf man, u just don’t want her there or she’ll find ur stash of eroge. Bt Akechi is like, no, I can’t let her suffer the racism that we’ve suffered as otaku in this land.

Emily doesn’t give up tho, and goes to her school library to read up on AKB48 and SKE48. Carrying all dem photobooks, she comes across Holmes and Akechi talking and does the smart thing and eavesdrop. Turns out Holmes thinks that Akechi and Kobayashi’s employer has something to do with a black magic cult thing happening under a church. Akechi, not wanting to doubt his employer, tells Holmes he’s a retard and storms off. He bumps into Emily who’s like o shi-, and drops all her photobooks.

Kobayashi End (the end that I accidentally did first……..)

Akechi is like U WERE THE ONLY ONE I DIDNT WANT TO HEAR ALL THAT, and Kobayashi comes along and goes all “wtf did u do to my Emily??”. Kobayashi proceeds to tell Akechi off and protect Emily, but Akechi just runs off. In the end Akechi avoids Emily because he doesn’t have enough balls to talk to her.

Sometime later it’s nearing their graduation ceremony and it’s been decided that Kobayashi and Akechi will be returning to Akiba after it. Emily figures this would probably be the case and feels sad that she and Akechi never really patch things up. One day Kobayashi is like to Akechi, hey let’s d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel. Akechi is like sure y not, I’m gonna win anyway. Kobayashi suddenly throws in the condition that he’ll have to patch things up with Emily if he wins and Akechi is like lol if u even win. Well ofc wtf man, slingshot vs katana, might as well fight a tank with a spear.

Kobayashi turns up to school the next day and Emily is like WTF HAPPENED TO YOU?? It’s pretty obv that Kobayashi lost so he’s like hey can I come to ur place before the graduation? and Emily agrees. He goes over and Emily treats him to some home made custard tart that she made. He asks her to go outside cuz he has something to show her, and they end up burning fireworks together. Kobayashi tells Emily that he’ll grow up to be more of a man than Akechi one day, and when that day comes, he’d like her to be his helper. Akechi is a fking douchebag and Kobayashi is a moe babu so Emily agrees, and says that she’ll be waiting for that day to come.

The fucking end.

AKKKKKKKEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCHIIIIIIIIIIIII (ノ*’ω’*)ノ彡┻━┻ They never end up patching anything up because Akechi is a fking doucherydouchebag. I was aiming to do Akechi’s ends first but after I accidentally triggered this end I wanted to fly out my window. SRSLY DA FUQ. Kobayashi was very awesome here so I applaud him but I can’t say I enjoyed this too much cuz I thought i was going for Akechi the whole time, and then bam suddenly the shota is hitting on me. wtf.

Akechi’s actual route, more like cockblocks, u like dem?

After Emily drops her AKB48 and SKE48 photobooks, Akechi apologises and Holmes walks in and laughs at Emily for being clumsy. Emily pretends she heard nothing and laughs it off but Akechi is like NooOOOo and runs away.

Sometime later, Emily is about to visit Akechi and Kobayashi where they work, but she spots their employer Dehall (?) I have no idea how it’s meant to be romanized and it seems like this is a legitimate name….. Emily trails him into the underground of a church where she sees many many drugged kids fighting to the death for some initiation into the society Spellbound. Just as she’s about to run away she’s drugged and captured.

Pendleton asks Akechi and Kobayashi whether they know where Emily is, since she was last seen heading to their place and they figure there might be a relationship between the disappear dates of Dehall and thus the case where orphans are taken somewhere and disappear. They go and try to find Emily, only to be attacked by all the ppl at the church like rabid dogs. Akechi finds Emily just as the guard is about to do nasty things to her and saves her. They’re about to escape as they learn of the society’s plan of burning down the church to erase evidence, but Emily spots a kid trying to take his own life. Akechi freezes and Emily dives straight in to save the kid, and just as that happens the church burnssss. Akechi tries to get to Emily but Kobayashi pulls him back cuz shit is burning.

Turns out all the kids are being taken to Hong Kong to be used as soldiers (lol wat) so now they’re on a boat. Akechi and Kobayashi know where they’re heading cuz……the fking guard Akechi knocked out had a treasure map. SO. SMART.

...they actually have plots like this....

…they actually have plots like this….

Kobayashi uses his slingshot balls (lol) to distract the ppl on the boat and Akechi sneaks in to find Emily. She’s in a cell so he cant save her but they have a nice long as chat through the bars ww. Then they come up with a plan to sneak onto the boat again by sneaking on with furniture. After the boat sets sail, they come out and Pollock (???) the head of this scheme find them. He tells them that Dehall was working for him and that all the ppl they found via their detective skillz for Dehall were actually traitors of Spellbound, their untimely disappearance is cuz well…yeah. They both get captured and Akechi’s precious katana is taken from him. Pollock tries to get Akechi to join him, but ofc no. Kobayashi flipos out on Akechi cuz he realised they were now accomplices to murder and starts a fight with Akechi cuz he did jack all with Pollock.

They then break out with a ‘mystery person’s’ (read as Pendleton) help and Akech tries to take Pollock one on one…with an oar. Oar vs rapier….and apparently Akechi still stands a chance…Kobayashi breaks Emily out who has Akechi’s katana and she rushes out to give it to him. Akechi takes it and owns Pollock. Dehall goes all ‘now errything iz mine ahuaheuaheuahea’ and I think Akechi owns him too, again. Emily then goes to help Akechi with his first aid, and she actually confessed her love first. Just as Akechi is about to say something Kobayashi comes in and cockblocks. Hey I know I should rename this route to ‘cockblock’.

Kobayashi Kockblock

Kobayashi Kockblock

All the enemies they captured on the boat turn up dead when they hit the first stop idek. I got so bored I stopped paying attention, I didn’t even realise their boat was moving lol. They end up in India and after Pendleton suddenly pops up like it was nothing to cockblock Akechi’s confession again, Akechi deceides he had enough of dis shiet and tells Pendleton that Emily is going to Japan with him. Pendleton goes all defensive oyaji on him and Akechi is like, let’s duel then, PICK A WEAPON OF UR CHOICE. Pendleton pulls out a gun.

Anyways in the end all is well, Emily heads off to Japan with Akechi.

Akechi Sad End

After Emily drops her AKB and SKE books Akechi runs away. He acts like nothing is wrong right up until graduation but then Kobayashi asks him whether he’s told anyone that they have to go back to Japan yet, and well nope.

Akechi gathers his balls and calls Emily out to tell her. And it was meant to be emotional but I honestly couldn’t care less anymore after everything that happened ww.

I’ll translate a few lines which I think would be depressing if ppl actually liked Akechi www

okei.

okei.

okeei

okeei

Okeeeei

Okeeeei

well this was sorta unexpected

well this was sorta unexpected

and poetic

and poetic

and in english it doesnt have the same feeling imo

and in english it doesnt have the same feeling imo

Dat aint the end tho, I think it might’ve been a real sad end if it were. When it comes to be time for Akechi and Kobayashi to leave, Emily brings them a custard tart as a parting gift. Akechi gives her his precious sakura bookmark, wait not ‘give’, ‘lends’. Until the day he comes back to retreieve it, Emily is to take care of it. And so she waits for that day.

WooooOOo finally. I can rest.

It took me like 3 fking tries to get Akechi’s bad end cuz the guide I was using gave me the wrong choices lmao. But whatever, by the end I was like, JUST ENNNNNND ALREADY. Yeah, cuz of Kobayashi route I really think Akechi is a massive douche.

Akechi does have some funny scenes tho, when he’s all (//︶ω︶//), that was the best. Cept it stopped happening later on in the route. He went from テレテレ to massive EMILY MINE sooo quickly I didnt even see the transition. Kobayashi’s end was really wtf, why put it in if nothing really happens? It sorta made me feel like he was acting as a rebound or something. But ye, my opinion is probably really fked up cuz of the suffering Akechi’s route put me through.

I recommend ppl playing to go Akechi sad ed > good ed > Kobayashi end, or you’ll be like me, bitter over Akechi www.

Anyway so much tldr;

good:

  • what the fuck was good about this?? mebbe that Kobayashi owned Akechi so many times???? idk

Bad:

  • doucherydouchingdouchebaggery
  • im sure i dont need to mention if u read everything else which ironically tldr means u didnt lmao zannen.

pls don’t play it in the order I did, you’ll regret it.

4 Comments

Filed under Otome Game

4 responses to “Eikoku Tantei Mysteria // Akechi Kenichirou and Kobayashi Seiji

  1. Well said \o/\o/\o/
    As much as I want to like Akechi, I.JUST.CAN’T orz
    Guess I’ll just be glad that I play their route first? |D

  2. And when I first saw Akechi I thought I would like him. UGH, I actually really wanted a route for him. I mean, look at Lupin’s, then look at this thing…

    • Lul well his route would be okei if u dont play the way I did ( ༎ຶ ◡༎ຶ) just rly rly boring. His tsundere moments were cute but they disappeared late game which sucked massive balls.

      NO ONE in mysteria can match Lupin’s route imo, as much as I love Jack. ( ༎ຶ ◡༎ຶ)

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